parchmentpetals

only one thing is needed.

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:40:38 GMT

Luke 10: 38-42 spoke to me last night, for I was "worried and upset about many things", and said so. He reminded me that it has been so long since I last did the one thing that is, and will always be, needed.

At the Home of Martha and Mary

³⁸As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"

⁴¹"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴²but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

Tue, 06 Oct 2009 14:46:27 GMT

There is just been so much to do, so much happening, that there isn't enough time to write about it, talk to people, skype with the londoners :(...p.s. I don't have your skype names val gen carmen bel aj etc!

This morning, I was having a lousy morning with a capital L. I had to force myself to read the word, which I realise I don't feel like reading when I need it most. In the Daily Light for the day, the verse was from Psalm 42:

"Why are you downcast, O my soul?
       Why so disturbed within me?
       Put your hope in God,
       for I will yet praise him,
       my Savior and ⁶ my God."

I identified with the psalmist so much, but didn't feel much better...then psalm 86 came to mind (I didn't know what it was), and it read, amongst other things:

"Bring joy to your servant,
       for to you, O Lord,
       I lift up my soul."

And that was my prayer for the morning :) another one of those moments where the Word hits the spot. God carries us through difficult days, yes He does. Have been learning lessons about Him that I'd love to share, but, o, work the great devourer of time :/ I will get around to it!

and I am not!

Thu, 03 Sep 2009 12:05:22 GMT

30 minutes ago I was positively helter-skeltering, graghing at excel and minitab and the terrible schedule, worrying about tomorrow....then God comes along and just works everything out again. And all I can do is stand in Awe, and know why He is God :) O that He may teach me to walk in His ways!

Calvary Love

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:53:24 GMT

If I have not compassion on my fellow-servant even as my Lord had pity on me, then I know nothing of Calvary love. 

If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting “Who made thee to differ? And what has thou that thou hast not received?” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can easily discuss the shortcomings and the sins of any; if I can speak in a casual way even of a child’s misdoings, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I find myself half-carelessly taking lapses for granted, “Oh, that’s what they always do,” “Oh, of course she talks like that, he acts like that,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can write an unkind letter, speak an unkind word, think an unkind thought without grief and shame, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I do not feel far more for the grieved Saviour than for my worried self when troublesome things occur, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I know little of His pitifulness (the Lord turned and looked upon Peter), if I know little of His courage or hopefulness for the truly humble and penitent (“He saith unto him, Feed My Lambs”), then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I deal with wrong for any other reason than that implied in the words, “From His right hand went a fiery law for them. Yea, He loved the people”; if I can rebuke without a pang, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, in dealing with one who does not respond, I weary of the strain, and slip from under the burden, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I cannot bear to be like the father who did not soften the rigors of the far country; if, in this sense, I refuse to allow the law of God (the way of transgressors is hard) to take effect, because of the distress it causes me to see that law in operation, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I am perturbed by the reproach and misunderstanding that may follow action taken for the good of souls for whom I must give account; if I cannot commit the matter and go on in peace and in silence, remembering Gethsemane and the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I cannot catch “the sound of noise of rain”* long before the rain falls, and, going to some hilltop of the spirit, as near to my God as I can, have not faith to wait there with my face between my knees, though six times or sixty times I am told “there is nothing,” till at last “there arises a little cloud out of the sea,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

*1Kings 18:41

If my attitude be one of fear, not faith, about one who has disappointed me; if I say, “Just what I expected,” if a fall occurs, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not look with eyes of hope on all in whom there is even a faint beginning, as our Lord did, when, just after His disciples had wrangled about which of them should be accounted the greatest, He softened His rebuke with those heart-melting words, “Ye are they which have continued with Me in My temptations,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I cast up a confessed, repented, and forsaken sin against another, and allow my remembrance of that sin to color my thinking and feed my suspicions, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I have not the patience of my Saviour with souls who grow slowly; if I know little of travail (a sharp and painful thing) till Christ be fully formed in them, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I sympathize weakly with weakness, and say to one who is turning back from the Cross, “Pity thyself”; if I refuse such a one the sympathy that braces and the brave and heartening word of comradeship, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot keep silence over a disappointing soul (unless for the sake of that soul’s good or for the good of others it be necessary to speak), then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I can hurt another by speaking faithfully without much preparation of spirit, and without hurting myself far more than I hurt that other, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the one concerned should say, “You do not understand,” or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the other’s highest good, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am content to heal a hurt slightly, saying “Peace, peace,” where is no peace; if I forget the poignant word “Let love be without dissimulation” and blunt the edge of truth, speaking not right things but smooth things, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I fear to hold another to the highest goal because it is so much easier to avoid doing so, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choice; if I give any room to my private likes and dislikes, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I put my own happiness before the well-being of the work entrusted to me; if, though I have this ministry and have received much mercy, I faint, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am soft to myself and slide comfortably into the vice of self-pity and self-sympathy; if I do not by the grace of God practice fortitude, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I myself dominate myself, if my thoughts revolve round myself; if I am so occupied with myself I rarely have “a heart at leisure from itself,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and in the power of Him who works in us to will and to do, keep that door shut, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, when I am able to discover something which has baffled others, I forget Him who revealeth the deep and secret things, and knoweth what is in the darkness and showeth it to us; if I forget that it was He who granted that ray of light to His most unworthy servant, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I cannot be at rest under the Unexplained, forgetting the word, “And blessed is he whosoever shall not be offended in Me:’ of if I can allow the least shadow of misunderstanding, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not give a friend “the benefit of the doubt,” but put the worst construction instead of the best on what is said or done, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If a sudden jar can cause me to speak an impatient, unloving word, then I know nothing of Calvary love. *For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot spill even one drop of bitter water however suddenly jolted.

If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my Sinless Saviour trod this path to the end, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel bitterly towards those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I say, “Yes, I forgive, but I cannot forget,” as though the God who twice day washes all the sands on all the shores of all the world, could not wash such memories from my mind, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If one whose help I greatly need appears to be as content to build in wood, hay, stubble, as in gold, silver, precious stones, and I hesitate to obey my light and do without that help because so few will understand, then, I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the care of a soul (or a community) be entrusted to me, and I consent to subject it to weakening influences, because the voice of the world – my immediate Christian world – fills my ears, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If by doing some work which the undiscerning consider “not spiritual work” I can best help others, and I inwardly rebel, thinking it is the spiritual for which I crave, when in truth it is the interesting and exciting, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If monotony tries me, and I cannot stand drudgery; if stupid people fret me and little ruffles set me on edge; if I make much of the trifles of life, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I am inconsiderate about the comfort of others, or their feelings, or even of their little weaknesses; if I am careless about their little hurts and miss opportunities to smooth their way; if I make the sweet running of household wheels more difficult to accomplish, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If interruptions annoy me, and private cares make me impatient; if I shadow the souls about me because I myself am shadowed, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If souls can suffer alongside, and I hardly know it, because the spirit of discernment is not in me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If there be any reserve in my giving to Him who so loved that He gave His Dearest for me; if there be a secret “but” in my prayer, “anything but that, Lord,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I become entangled in any “inordinate affection”; if things or places or people hold me back from obedience to my Lord, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If something I am asked to do for another feels burdensome; if, yielding to an inward unwillingness, I avoid doing it, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself; if I love to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I crave hungrily to be used to show the way to liberty to a soul in bondage, instead of caring only that it is be delivered; if I nurse my disappointment when I fail, instead of asking that to another the word of release may be given, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I want to be known as the doer of something that has proved the right thing, or as the one who suggested that it should be done, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given a moment’s room there; if the cup of spiritual flattery tastes sweet to me, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If it be not simple and a natural thing to say, “Enviest thou for my sake? Would God that all the Lord’s people were prophets,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If in the fellowship of service I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are caused to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (to myself, for myself), then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I refuse to allow one who is dear to me to suffer for the sake of Christ, if I do not see such suffering as the greatest honor that can be offered to any follower of the Crucified, then I know nothing of Calvary love.  

If I slip into the place that can be filled by Christ alone, making myself the first necessity to a soul instead of leading it to fasten upon Him, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If my interest in the work of others is cool; if I think in terms of my own special work; if the burdens of others are not my burdens too, and their joys mine, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If, when an answer I did not expect comes to a prayer which I believed I truly meant, I shrink back from it; if the burden my Lord asks me to bear be not the burden of my heart’s choice, and I fret inwardly and do not welcome His will, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I avoid being “ploughed under,” with all that such ploughing entails of rough handling, isolation, uncongenial situations, strange tests, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I wonder why something trying is allowed, and press for prayer that it may be removed; if I cannot be trusted with any disappointment, and cannot go on in peace under any mystery, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I make much of anything appointed, magnify it secretly to myself or insidiously to others; if I let them think it “hard,” if I look back longingly upon what used to be, and linger among the byways of memory, so that my power to help is weakened, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the love that “alone maketh light of every heavy thing, and beareth evenly every uneven thing” is not my heart’s desire, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I refuse to be a corn of wheat that falls into the ground and dies (“is separated from all in which it lived before”), then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I ask to be delivered from trial rather than for deliverance out of it, to the praise of His glory; if I forget that the way of the Cross leads to the Cross and not to a bank of flowers; if I regulate my life on these lines, or even unconsciously my thinking, so that I am surprised when the way is rough, and think it strange, though the word is, “Think it not strange,” “Count it all joy,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the ultimate, the hardest, cannot be asked of me; if my fellows hesitate to ask it and turn to someone else, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the Cross, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

That which I know not, teach Thou me, O Lord, my God.

things as they have been

Fri, 21 Aug 2009 16:35:51 GMT

It's been two whole weeks since school started! Two weeks of getting used to a new kind of lifestyle, new people, new ways of doing things... I can't say all has been fantastic and there have been some trying moments, but I thank God for His strength that has seen me through, even giving me reason to be joyful.

For example, some days these past 2 weeks - blame it on the timetable mess-up - I didn't see a familiar face throughout the day, and even if I did, there was usually barely enough time to brush by superficially. On days like that it's easy to get lonesome and mopey and desperate for good conversation like in the past (e.g. a13b).

On the hall front, I've been having an ongoing struggle over how much to get involved in things: feeling on the one hand that I should, that I've been placed in hall for a reason and that I should make the most of the opportunities I have to love etc.; but on the other hand I really don't know what I'm meant to do, and I (guiltily) don't feel like doing much anyhow. The night before last I spent close to two hours at the central forum in the middle of the night thinking through Hall issues, asking for guidance, but I was met mostly with silence.

Yet amidst that God provided strength for the fortnight, as He always has/does/will.
Last wednesday, I was faced with a lonely free afternoon (with the rest of the class lecture-less and thus at home). As I took the bus to the central I asked the Lord to use the rest of the day as He will. Said that I didn't know what to do with it, but He knew best, and that I would simply follow. Getting off the bus, who should I bump into just two minutes later but Wenny, who was meeting Val :) and so I ended up spending precious time with two precious friends :)

Some other days the blessings come in smaller ways. Like the verse on my verse-a-day flipchart thingum that met a point of need, filled a void that I didn't know existed. Or waking up to the birds calling in the tree outside, gazing upon the sheltering branches that spread across my entire window, reminding me that God is like that tree - my shelter, my resting place :) Today it was meeting Audrey (even if just for awhile) and bumping into Daryl whilst I was at it. Sitting with Grace and Kelly in lecture (oh how I treasure company in lectures now!) and laughing in the same old way at something not even vaguely funny :)

The night I sat at the central forum I was reminded of this when I asked for wisdom and good discernment

"²Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. ⁴Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. ⁵If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. ⁶But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;⁸he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does." (James 1:2-5)

and was given assurance - above all understanding - that Yes, He will make the way clear to me in due course.

In the Bible God is often portrayed as a lover, The Lover - always in passionate pursuit of us, loving us in a way that humans, in our imperfection, never can. So my thanksgiving this week is that in all its happenings I was reminded of the Father's love for me: each blessing a love note from above, to say that I'm still on His mind, and His eye sees even me. And NOT JUST ME! but everybody who calls Him Father :)

That aside, yay weekend :) Looking forward to meeting the class for the last time before everybody flies off to different corners of the world (hm actually come to think of it it is just one corner)! And on a final side note, I realise that my tenses here are all mixed up because I couldn't/can't decide whether to use present tense or past tense. Oh well, whatever.

today's joy verses :)

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 13:28:37 GMT

The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
      my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
   He is my shield, the power that saves me,
      and my place of safety.

He reached down from heaven and rescued me;
He drew me out of deep waters ...

He led me to a place of safety;
he rescued me because He delights in me

Psalm 18: 2,16,19

Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in Him!

Psalm 34:8

New Beginnings

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 13:48:46 GMT

Joy = knowing that God is in control, even if we're not all jumpy-happy.
I think I need Greater Emotional Resilience for the new sem but I've decided that I must live in the joy of the Lord!

:D

All the best to everyone starting school tomorrow, may you have a great sem, make good friends, and find joy in all you do :)

too many words, lately.

Sat, 25 Jul 2009 13:12:41 GMT

I've been realising that it is difficult to lj about my walk with Christ - as though the emotions I experience in the virtual world are mutually exclusive with those I chronicle in ink, on paper. Maybe then it is good that a day after tomorrow I will be stepping into the unknown...away from trappings like the internet, learning to trust solely in my Father. Perhaps the silence on this page will be beneficial; grappling with things alone is good for the soul.

Words, sometimes they are futile aren't they? The sheer multitude of words spoken daily sometimes makes writing, speaking, altogether meaningless.

--

Lately I've been noticing how often I sing:

"I believe You're my portion, I believe you're more than enough for me, Jesus You're all I need."
"...You're my all, You're the best..."

Yet when it comes down to it , when asked to surrender just One thing to Him, I struggle: knowing that He is all I need, but certainly not always feeling that way.

Oh LORD
Keep me ever close to You
And Only You.

moving in

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 13:47:08 GMT

I was given a lesson in faith today. Upon being shown my new room and meeting my neighbour, I realised that I couldn't have chosen a better room, a better block, or a better neighbour, even if I had tried. Every detail, down to the tiniest thing, is close to perfect. OK Maybe there is still the camp and the crudeness, but if He can arrange all these intricacies, can I not trust Him to be all-Sufficient in all other things?

Oh yes since tomorrow is SAC I am reminded of what I read the very day I received the offer letter:

"When a man makes a vow to the LORD or takes an oath to obligate himself by a pledge, he must not break his word but must do everything he said." -Numbers 30:2

Out of context, maybe, but fitting all the same :)

on hall

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 15:11:47 GMT

to be frank i am petrified!!! I heard the food is good and the facilities seem okay, but dirty cheers, crying out of love for the hall, seriously sleazy pole dancing, laughing at crude jokes, out of whack hours and too much emphasis on a dubiously-termed "traffic light status"?? ARGH HELP I AM NOT READY FOR THIS! And i'm shifting in my barang tomorrow, and vacuuming my bed and cleaning the floor...in other words by midday I'll be all but moved in. And in all truth, that's how I'd rather stay - all but moved in :(

My only consolation is that I bought a pot for my room to put flowers in, I think I'll change the arrangement to suit the seasons :D
but apart from that, I really pray I'll find strength for 14 (I know, Fourteen? what can you possibly do for that long?) days of camp starting monday..

Grace and I are matriculating tomorrow too which means that we'll be official uni students in a couple of hours time, which also means School Starts Soon! Sooner than I expected it would, and sooner than most other people start school e.g. gen, val, others flying away, etc. Would like to go into detail regarding my feelings on this topic, but first I need to look for another bottle of shampoo, shoes for wet activities, and "a set of clothes that you can get dirty in (can be thrown away)".

(On a side note, I bought a new alarm clock yesterday, my old one didn't alarm me enough :D This new one is superb..I woke up in under One second yippy! It's electric so you connect it to the power socket. Since the power socket isn't located next to my bedside, I have to fall out of bed to turn it off (it's Really Loud) and so I wake up in the process.)

dust to dust

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 10:03:11 GMT

I have been trying to figure out CORS online for the past 1-2 hours. It's the most crazy system to understand precisely, without actually trying the process hands on :( grr.

Tuesday to Friday were spent with HCA hospice care doing house visits with the nurses to palliative patients..a most eye-opening time. I really really learnt so much from it - I think the rest of our group did too. As expected, there was a lot of pain and darkness when I followed the nurse around for visits. A lot of people lost, despairing ("Nurse, give me an injection and let me die"), hurting, confused, literally decayed, organs hanging out etc. There was much spiritual emptiness, too :( A lot of the time I felt helpless - unable to do much for any of them.

The fact that when my overseas-uni-going group mates return, most of the people we met would have passed on was a sad thought. But amidst that there was a glimmer of light found in my favourite old lady :) whom I got to talk to for a long while because the nurse was on the phone. We were talking about her condition and she said, with her face radiant, that she "zhi dao wo de zhu ye su hui zhao gu wo" (knows that her Lord Jesus will protect her). The peace in her eyes and her home stood in stark contrast to the 9 other homes we visited. No, there is no fear in dying in Jesus.

The more I reflect on this the more I find that it is true. I used to be afraid of getting into (my biggest worry!) an aeroplane crash or some tragic accident of that sort, until I understood this verse:

"...All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Psalm 139:16)

All our days are already set. Going on an aeroplane is not going to "tempt fate" to give you an earlier death; you're not going to be "risking it" if you decide to go to a war-torn place for missions - simply because God is already in control of our days. I find that knowledge liberating.

in the world

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:37:53 GMT

"Christianity has unrealistic standards", a friend said to me today. I've been thinking about that for a long while, esp of late, due in part to pdc, and in part to my standing on the threshold of university.

Some of these verses were blessings to me over the past week or so because they reminded me of the crooked stick I was, beside the straight edge of the Word. No doubt I am still weak and tempted etc, but these helped (and hopefully, will continue to help) to keep me in check. Hope they may be of help to you :)

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Psalm 16:5-6

Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Proverbs 4:23

Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins.
James 4:17

Sometimes the sacrifices are painful.
"...Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
Nehemiah 8:10

To the world it is foolishness, yet
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..."
Romans 12:2

Foolish, maybe. Difficult, definitely. But impossible?
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13

Help us Lord, that we may "become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which (we) shine like stars in the universe as (we) hold out the word of life."
Philippians 2:15

A new season

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 11:39:10 GMT

called for a relook at whether my past entries are going to be of any consequence, encouragement or benefit to anybody who has not already read them. I decided No (not for the majority of the posts anyway) and thus f-locked liberally :)

We Encountered God

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 15:55:50 GMT

Just returned from a Youth Camp held by my church's Youth Ministry yesterday and what happened is a testimony that must be shared!
I've been searching for answers lately to prove that Christianity is not a lie (it isn't), but the outpour of God's spirit on Sunday made me know beyond a doubt that we serve a real Lord.

We had many provisions over the course of the camp - God really arranged so much for us - and on the last day, we had a testimony session. After that, there was a short time of worship to wrap up the camp. Usually during past worship sessions a lot of us were less than focused on worshipping God. This time, there were just two short songs and I guess, I wasn't expecting much - the camp was ending, after all.
But halfway through the singing, the 2 youth beside me just started (almost simultaneously) to burst into tears..real sobbing, not just quiet crying. And before I knew it (literally so!), almost all the youth were on their knees, crying and convicted, rededicating their lives to Jesus. What could have caused such large-scale weeping? Nothing, I know, but the Spirit of the Living God. There was nothing in the atmosphere to make it extra conducive to any emotional experience. Nothing in the worship leading to set this apart from any other worship session we've had. Nothing in the youth or the youth ministry to make us particularly holy or "worthy" -if it is possible to be worthy- to experience God's presence. Some of the youth had never seemed profoundly interested in God! But God heard the cries of all who prayed for the camp, and He came. We are sure of it.

I didn't have a weeping encounter in the Spirit, and my personal plea to God to "let your Holy Spirit be manifested in me through an outward sign" was not answered on Sunday. But God has his best plan, and I felt Him reassure me through the speaker sessions and a quiet inner confidence that the outward signs are great - but they are not all that matter. On reflection, Encounter 2009:

-showed me that I belong to a Powerful, yet Protecting Father; whose glory is declared by the heavens yet who cares deeply for me, his creation
-helped to nudge me to know more about the spiritual gifts he's given me for his service
-helped me deal with fears I harbour/harboured
-has given me new wind, new love and new fire for serving Jesus in YM, especially at a time when I was pondering upon my purpose/usefulness in the ministry.

And I just want to praise God, you know? For challenging my own human knowledge. I was discouraged about the state of the youth ministry, thinking it 'dead'. But God showed me that He is still working, still very very much alive. He is indeed the One True God. I have no other way to shout the good news than through this measly entry, so here it is :)

Friends, if you ever remember this post and are willing to pray, please pray for
-the youth in our youth ministry, that God will continue this good work, and fan the flames that already burn among us
-me, that I will have an increased love for these youth and an even deeper love relationship with our Saviour
-the youth leaders to have wisdom and discernment to seek and find his will for the ym.
thank you :)

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

Tue, 09 Dec 2008 11:14:44 GMT

"Security is not found in the absence of danger, but in the presence of Jesus."

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 12:38:41 GMT

My friend just sent me this, so at this time when we're all busy thinking about our futures and our unfinishable work and HOW ON EARTH TO SURVIVE THE NEXT 3 MONTHS EXACTLY, just want to share this with you all, to encourage you to keep on praying, keep on trusting the God who hears and cares :)

"Thinking is not praying

There's a big difference between just thinking something and praying it to God. Prayer has a direction. You're not churning it in your brain or sharing it with friends or talking it over with a psychologist or getting in touch with your inner self. Prayer is directed to God -- acknowledging not only God's existence, but also a relationship and even a certain degree of trust. Prayer's not a waste of time because God is hard at work in this confused, ambiguous world, to draw it toward God's good purposes. Prayer is your response to God's work. If there's noone there, if there's no way to relate or even communicate, or if a wrathful god would strike you down just for trying, why would anyone pray? There's an unspoken hope in each prayer, even if it hangs by a thread or is the size of a mustard seed, that somehow the mightiest being of all thinks you matter. God's response also has a direction : you will not be left adrift or be led nowhere (unless, like Israel in the Sinai, you have a lesson to learn from the drifting).

God does have great plans for your life!
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declared the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Love,
Celestine"

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 14:10:50 GMT

All that I am is in You
All that I seek is to follow You
I run to Your side when You call
There is the hope I am longing for

Just to be by your side
There is hope in my life
There is no greater freedom I’ve found

Take my life
And all that I have to give
Take my world
Just inhabit all of it
Take my dreams
Make me assuredly Yours

Risen, indeed :)

Sun, 23 Mar 2008 09:25:40 GMT

"But He was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." -Isaiah 53:5

Thank you God for hope in life, hope in death, and true Love.

---

Long ago He blessed the earth
Born older than the years
And in the stall a cross He saw
Through the first of many tears
A life of homeless wandering
Cast out in sorrow's way
The Shepherd seeking for the lost
His life, the price He paid

Love crucified, arose
The Risen One in splendor
Jehovah soul Defender
Has won the victory
Love crucified, arose
And the grave became a place of hope
For the heart that sin and sorrow broke
Is beating once again

Throughout Your life You felt the weight
Of what You'd come to give
To drink for us that crimson cup
So we might really live
At last the time to love and die
The dark appointed day
That one forsaken moment
When Your Father turned His face away

Love crucified, arose
The One who lived and died for me
Was Satan's nail-pierced casualty
Now He's breathing once again
Love crucified, arose
And the grave became a place of hope
For the heart that sin and sorrow broke
Is beating once again

into Your hands, i commit again

Sun, 30 Dec 2007 14:10:12 GMT

today i thought about the year ahead and made some resolutions/promises although i haven't written them down yet, but i think i had an encounter with the truth last night, so i will post this up.

You know the whole year i have been subconsciously worrying about future decisions like where i will go, what i should do for uni and beyond, what course to take, what internships to apply for, and everything. I mean, I haven't been outright worrying, or spending long waking hours fretting over things, but i've been trying to be in control of things in my life, planning what to do that would best suit me.

But last night out of the blue this huge realisation hit me, that God's plan is so big; He knows everything and in contrast my own efforts to plan how i want my life to turn out are really just thrashing about in the darkness. No matter what i try to do for myself/my fate, God's will will still be what is best and beautiful.
And it makes me feel ashamed that i think that i can and try, so often, to do things so that my own plans will work out when in fact i am not as strong as i think i am.

I guess this may not be a major revelation to many!, because we always pray "let Your kingdom come, let Your will be done", but i don't think i understood it so well before. And humanly, i know i will always be tempted to say, "God, these are my plans please make them work", but this year i want to try to say for a change, "Lord, I am completely surrendered to You, in every sense of the word. i want to stop worrying and let You take control in my life."

Or, it's this:
I have made You too small in my eyes
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have believed in a lie
That You are unable to help me.
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show Yourself strong
And in my eyes and with my song
Oh Lord, be magnified
Be magnified, Oh Lord
You are highly exalted
And there is nothing You can't do
Oh Lord, my eyes are on You
Be magnified, Oh Lord, be magnified

I have leaned on a wisdom of men
Oh Lord, forgive me
And I have responded to them
Instead of Your light and Your mercy
But now, Oh Lord, I see my wrong
Heal my heart and show yourself strong
And in my eyes and in my song
Oh Lord be magnified Be magnified

For He says,

"³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them." Matthew 6:31-32

and

"⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

and maybe i may be inclined to strive humanly, and worry a lot (!!!), and be so sinful inside and in need of His refining, but i hope this year i'll be able to let God be in control, so that when He is in control, He will change me and make everything go according to His perfect will, in His time.

Love came down at christmas

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 07:21:21 GMT

i just learnt this!

¹⁶At that time they had a notorious prisoner, called Barabbas. ¹⁷So when the crowd had gathered, Pilate asked them, "Which one do you want me to release to you: Barabbas, or Jesus who is called Christ?" ¹⁸For he knew it was out of envy that they had handed Jesus over to him.

¹⁹While Pilate was sitting on the judge's seat, his wife sent him this message: "Don't have anything to do with that innocent man, for I have suffered a great deal today in a dream because of him."

²⁰But the chief priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas and to have Jesus executed.

²¹"Which of the two do you want me to release to you?" asked the governor.
"Barabbas," they answered.

²²"What shall I do, then, with Jesus who is called Christ?" Pilate asked.
They all answered, "Crucify him!"

barabbas means "son of abba" which means "son of father". the christmas story that we've heard so many times doesn't end with the manger and the three wise men and the donkeys and bright star of bethlehem. because Jesus came to earth, ultimately to die, the christmas story ends with Jesus on the cross, dying for the sins of man, in place of a sinner named barabbas.

the bible doesnt tell us many things about barabbas, unlike how it gives us background on other people like Simon, son of John. Barabbas is just 'son of father'. i think what this means is that barabbas could've been anyone, it could've been me.

the paradoxical beauty of christmas is that God loved us so much, that he left heaven to be born and eventually to die for people who were unworthy. and even if it was just one person, i think God would still have chosen to come down, because he loves every individual so much.

i think i often forget the magnitude of God's love because the nativity has become so commercialised, but when i think of how Jesus came down to die for all the wrong things i've done - when i think of how just like barabbas, i deserved death but instead received life - i feel like i'm one step closer to comprehending the incomprehensible love of the Father.

yay :)

Sun, 14 Oct 2007 06:48:19 GMT

“…if there’s anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking, they’re either braver than most or else just silly.”

“Then he isn’t safe?”

“‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”